The Yummiest Pokemon Of All Time
When almost every animal on Pokémon World has a personality, how do you decide which ones to eat? Obviously, you eat the ones which taste the best and pray for your own immortal soul. Eating Pokémon isn't something that Nintendo likes to talk about, but it happens, and it's suggested in both the cartoon and video games. So, when it comes down to it, which Pokémon make the best meal?
Bulbasaur
Bulbasaur is a convenient Pokémon when it comes to making dinner. Not only are they calm and easy to breed, but each Bulbasaur consists of at least two food groups. Three, if you want to try to milk one. Imaginary scientists aren't sure whether to classify these as animals or plants, but a taste-test would surely sort out that mystery. Be careful, though—they're a poison type Pokémon, so just eat around the stuff that'll kill you.
Tastes like: Brussels sprouts and alligator.
Kingler
The closest thing that Pokémon World has to a delicious king crab, the Kingler has a giant claw, that prevents it from moving very quickly, making them a pretty easy catch. Forget about the smaller, less-evolved Krabby and focus on steaming up a pile of these guys. Watch out for the claw, though, as it can "can pinch with the power of 10,000 horsepower." Anything that powerful has to taste good.
Tastes like: Crab.
Psyduck
Sad but true: Psyduck constantly has a headache. Intense psychic migraines often render this Pokémon immobile, making it another easy catch. Duck is a delicious meat when prepared properly, so a magical psychic duck could be nothing less than a delicacy. Side effects from eating Psyducks haven't been documented, but one should probably take precautions before eating anything that suffers from a chronic illness.
Tastes like: Poultry, but don't forget about the foie gras.
Ditto
Ditto is the tofu of the Pokémon kingdom. Able to change its cellular structure into anything it sees, one can safely assume that Ditto would also assume the flavor of anything. Like an adorable cluster of stem cells, all you need to do is show Ditto a picture of something you want to eat and immediately kill it. Presuming that a dead Ditto doesn't revert to a formless blob, you've got yourself a meal of whatever your heart desires.
Tastes like: Your wildest dreams.
Farfetch'd
Another delicious duck-like Pokémon, Farfetch'd is so tasty that it's actually been hunted to near-extinction. Apparently intelligent, Farfetch'd carries around a leek as a weapon, which is reportedly the best possible garnish for eating with the bird. If you know that you taste great with barbecue sauce, don't douse yourself in it before you leave the house, stupid. There's no debating this one—it's right in the official Pokédex.
Tastes like: Poultry, but it should probably stop carrying around that leek.
Dragonair
Technically some kind of dragon, Dragonair looks enough like a delectable eel to encourage a visit to the grill. Eel might be an acquired taste, but there's nothing else like it, and if you catch a Dragonair, that's food for a week. Ignore any cultural stigmas against eating a dragon. Anything you do to that Pokémon has to be kinder than trapping it in a ball and making it fight every other Pokémon in the world until it dies.
Tastes like: A sushi buffet.
Exeggutor
It's hard to imagine how an Exeggutor would taste. It looks like a half-dozen rotten eggs before it evolves, but it's also called "the coconut Pokémon" and kinda looks like a tree post-evolution. We're going to go way out on a limb and say that this plant-animal-thing tastes like nothing we know on Earth, which is a relief because the grocery store is starting to look pretty boring. There's only so many things you can do to pasta before you start to curse Italy and everyone who lives there.
Tastes like: Durian without the stench? Anything but your mom's gross casserole.
Oddish
Though more appropriate as a minor part of a salad than a full meal, the Oddish would be the hardest Pokémon to murder to quell your rumbling guts. Not only is it the most adorable of all Pokémon, it's also known to scream when pulled from the ground, not unlike the myths surrounding the mandrake. Hopefully, though, you don't suffer eternal damnation for picking one, and if you do, just get your stupid Pikachu to do it. His life is a living hell anyhow.
Tastes like: An odd radish, obviously. It's not that hard to figure out, man.
Slowbro
Another horror straight out of Pokémon canon, the Slowbro is so delicious that something is already eating it. The Slowbro can't feel any pain, so killing it for its meat is slightly less morally troubling. And when you shake the Shellder off its tail, you basically have your surf and turf all in the same place. Their tails even grow back. And if you can't bring yourself to eat the delicious Slowbro, you can always trade it to someone for pictures of their hot cousin. This actually happened.
Tastes like: Filet mignon.